Trauma & Finding Delight

PURE DELIGHT

“Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair.”

~ Khalil Gibran

CHILDLIKE DELIGHTS

When is the last time you walked barefoot through the grass, ran through a sprinkler, swung on a swing, caught fireflies at night, or played outside until the sun set? As adults, we often forget about these childlike delights that bring joy and nourishment to our souls. For many, particular during the holiday season, joy is replaced with frustration, rushing, last-minute shopping, family disputes, and exhaustion. What would it be like to live counter-culturally, not just during this holiday season, but ALL YEAR LONG?? Think about slowing down, taking more time for quiet reflection, laughing, and re-engaging with your inner child. Can you imagine it? This is a prime opportunity to engage in positive visualization and imagine what life would be like if you experienced delight and joy on most days.

KEYS TO POSITIVE VISUALIZATION

The key to positive visualization primarily involves activating our 5 senses. Let’s use the example of imagining yourself on a walk:

1. SIGHT - What do you see on this walk? Notice the green grass or the dirt path where you’re walking. See that beautiful cardinal over in that tree. Observe the squirrels chasing each other in that lawn. Look at the flowers in the spring and summer, the colorful leaves in the fall, or the snow in the winter. Allow your eyes to take in all the beauty that is in the world as you walk.

2. TOUCH - What do you physically feel as you are walking? Feel your feet in your shoes as they hit the pavement or the gravel. Feel the sunshine on your face or the wind at your back. Reach out and touch the bark on that interesting looking tree. Pet the dog as they pass (with permission, of course).

3. SOUND - What sounds do you hear on this glorious walk? If you live in the city, you may hear cars going by, horns honking, or sirens. But, remember, you can imagine any sounds you like. If you want to imagine someplace more rural or a quieter suburb, you may hear birds chirping, dogs barking, or the wind through the trees. That might just be the perfect mental break to hear nature sounds.

4. SMELL - What delicious smells are you taking in on this walk? In the spring, you may notice the smell of lilacs or hyacinths. As it gets warmer, you may smell backyard barbecue or burgers being grilled. In the fall, you may smell the crispness in the air or the earthy smell of leaves as they begin to fall.

5. TASTE - Do you like to take a morning walk to your favorite coffee shop and then sip on your latte on the way back? Savor the taste of your hot coffee as you walk. Maybe you’re taking a long walk and you have water with you. Imagine the cool water as it runs down the back of your throat and quenches your thirst. Whatever the taste, enjoy it, delight in it!

Let your senses come alive on this imaginary walk. Give your mind a break as you delight in the beauty of the outdoors and connect to your body.

TRAUMA BLOCKS

You may be reading this and you’re ready to throw your phone or slam your laptop shut, because this sounds like some kind of holistic bull**** or hokey, hippie nonsense, or maybe you consider this to be some form of toxic positivity. Fair enough. That might be a protective part of you that fears you’ll be sorely disappointed if you start to experience joy, so that part is going to shut these ideas down. The thought of delight and joy may be terrifying after all the trauma you’ve experienced. And that’s normal. But maybe, just maybe, there’s a small part of you that would love to feel like a kid, again. To experience the freeing power of play. To laugh out loud. To sing at the top of your lungs or dance in your kitchen. What if you engage that protective part with compassion and ask if they will give this idea of delight a chance? What if you could come to an agreement to dip your toe into the pool of this delightful experience for just 15 minutes? Allow yourself 15 minutes of pure, unadulterated fun and simply be curious about the process. You can do this! As you lose yourself in fun, you may notice that you start to smile, you breathe more deeply, and you feel hope. Hope for the future. Hope for a better life. Hope for more delight!

OVERCOMING TRAUMA BLOCKS

If you’ve experienced the sudden appearance of a protective part of self when presented with something enjoyable, you are aware of a trauma block. As previously mentioned, it’s scary for trauma survivors to hope for goodness and joy, because there’s always the fear that the proverbial other shoe will drop. When you engage with those parts who are blocking the process of engaging in good things, you are practicing parts work or Ego State Therapy. You are seeking to change the role of that ego state who carries with them parts of the trauma that you’ve experienced. Parts will often carry that trauma in the background to give you a break, which is incredibly helpful…until it’s not. When parts come out, they almost always come out sideways and overreact. Those parts can change and grow and take on healthier roles when met with gratitude, compassion, and curiosity. Our inner dialogue is incredibly powerful and it holds the key to creating a healthier inner world.

Are you ready to work with those protective parts and to begin experiencing delight?

Begin Adult Trauma Counseling in Columbus, Ohio.  You don’t have to suffer any longer.