Trauma and Mindsets: Part 1

“Believe you can and you’re halfway there.”

- Theodore Roosevelt

COMING UP ROSES

Think about people you know who are the types who can fall into crap and come up smelling like roses. They might be someone that you’d love to hate, but they’re so nice that you can’t. They are driven, optimistic, and eternally hopeful. These are the people that you want in your corner because they will always encourage you and are always willing to brainstorm when you feel like you’re stuck. They can see opportunities where you might not and they aren’t afraid to take risks. To be clear, these are NOT folks who engage in toxic positivity, but rather weigh out pros and cons and are sure to see the whole picture. However, they don’t let setbacks get them down and learn from their failures so they can do better the next time. Who are these magical people? These are people with a growth mindset.

THE FIXED MINDSET

To understand the growth mindset, let’s first talk about the fixed mindset. The fixed mindset believes that the intelligence you’re born with is it. You’re stuck with whatever genetics you were given and there’s nothing you can do about it. This mindset causes some teachers, who also have the fixed mindset, to favor their most intelligent students and discard the rest. This mindset stifles creativity, creates unfair judgments, can lead to bullying & violence, and causes many to suffer from depression and hopelessness. In the fixed mindset, there are the “haves and the have nots” and those that are blessed vs those who are cursed. Genetic ability is part of the equation, but not all. People with the fixed mindsets look at others who are intelligent, athletic, attractive, and successful and assume that they were born with it and often become resentful toward them. Do they have an initial advantage? Sure. But if they have the fixed mindset they might not work very hard to improve and to hone their skills, because they already believe themselves to be the best. The fixed mindset can be a precursor toward Narcissistic Personality Disorder, especially if those kids grew up with parents who always told them that they’re the best or elite. The fixed mindset leads to putting others down, because you always feel threatened by others you may see as competition. In short, the fixed mindset will keep you stuck.

“The hallmark of successful people is that they are always stretching themselves to learn new things.”

- Carol S. Dweck

THE GROWTH MINDSET

In her brilliant book, Mindset, Carol S. Dweck, Ph.D., reminds us of a powerful story of initial failure by Michael Jordan. Jordan is believed to be the greatest basketball player of all time, but he didn’t start out that way. He was cut from his high school varsity team and didn’t make the basketball team at North Carolina State. However, his determination and willingness to work hard and practice paid off. Those attributes came about from his growth mindset and are proof of the power of our thoughts. Conversely, in his book A Complaint Free World, Will Bowen tells the story of a woman who had suffered a stroke and was convinced she was going to die, despite her doctor’s prognosis to the contrary. Her doctor told her she would be moving to a rehab unit and would be home with her cat, in no time. The woman, deeply steeped in the fixed mindset, refused to believe the doctor and asked Will, a minister, to help her plan her funeral. Sure enough, within 2 weeks, she was dead. Our thoughts drive our actions and then our outcomes. If we see a vision and rehearse it, either in our minds or in reality, we can make it happen. Talent is only a small amount of the equation. Patience, practice, and perseverance are the action items within the growth mindset. To sum up the core of the growth mindset, Winston Churchill said it best, “Never, never, never give up.”

DO YOU SEE YOURSELF IN THE FIXED MINDSET?

ARE YOU READY TO CHALLENGE YOUR THOUGHTS AND OPEN UP TO THE GROWTH MINDSET?

Begin Adult Trauma Counseling in Columbus, Ohio.  You don’t have have to suffer any longer.

References:

Bowen, Will (2013). A Complaint Free World: How to Stop Complaining and Start Enjoying the

Life You Always Wanted. Three Rivers Press.

Dweck, Carol S., Ph.D. (2016). Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. Ballantine Books.